Why are there so many stairs?

Oh my goodness. My legs are in so much pain I can't even move. And that's after only three quarters of a marathon!!! How am I going to survive the full????

And I thought it was painful waking up at 5:15 am to get to my run in time. It was the 4th time this week that I've woken up before six to get training done.

I did eighteen miles and... it wasn't easy. The route had a few intense hills. (They call them the cardiac hills. They're a bitch.) My ankle kept popping. My knee felt off. But besides that the pain is your pretty average muscle soreness.

I drove home afterwards, my muscles tense. It hurt so much to walk up the stairs. I felt like somebody's ninety-five year old grandmother. I basically collapsed onto the floor in my room. I took off my running sneakers and my toes were dirty for some reason and one of my toenails was really black and blue and I had new blisters and my feet kind of smelled funky.

I started walking downstairs to take a shower and each step took about half a minute, it felt like. I was finally almost there when I realized I'd forgotten my towel and I felt like crying.

Quickest shower in the history of the world, and I haven't done much since except lie in bed. I went downstairs one more time to get my ice pack, and afterwards I just stood at the foot of the stairs briefly, half-laughing, half-crying at how ridiculously hard it would be for me to climb them. "WHY ARE THERE SO MANY STAIRS?" I asked out loud.

I'm hungry and thirsty but getting food and water means another trip downstairs and I really don't know if I have the strenghth for that right now. Maybe someday running 18 miles will be easy for me, but that's definitely not today.

I hope I feel better by tonight so I can get out and do something. It's such a beautiful day out. I've been feeling really down about a bunch of things. At least when I'm trucking through those last few miles, determined to get to that predetermined number, it's hard to think of anything else besides making it to the end. Today I have pushed my body harder than I ever have. And I'm three quarters of the way there.

... all of this pain will be worth it in the end... right?