The Dreaded 20 Miler.

In some ways, it went much better than I expected.

When I arrived at the team practice that morning, Lauri & Magdaly told me that there were cupcakes. "I don't think I could eat a cupcake right now," I said, making a face. The thought of that much sugar when I was already so nervous about the impending run and pain was too much.

They urged me to look at them, and so I did. Each cupcake had a letter on top, and they all spelled out: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIANA 26". One of the training captains, Robin, had made them for me. It was so sweetly unexpected and really put me in a good mood to start the run. To think that someone at this very moment could be doing something really nice for you and you have absolutely no idea or expectation of it- I think those are the best surprises.

I felt strong during the run- like I could keep running forever. Don't get me wrong- by mile 12, I WANTED to stop. But that was mental. My body was capable of continuing, and I was feeling stubborn about finishing the twenty. I knew I had to- the marathon was only 3 weeks away. At least I felt much stronger than I had when I had done the 18 miler. I didn't stop for any walk breaks this time.

Also around mile 12, I started feeling a lot of pain around where I tie my laces on my right foot. I knew I needed pain killers to make it through the rest of the run, which was frustrating. Luckily I found someone at mile 13 that had extra strength tylenol, and I loosened my laces a bit, and I just kept going- telling myself that I only had a little over an hour left of torture.

Around mile 17 I started feeling the pain all the way up past my legs and hips into my torso.
But I just kept going and going and going like the freaking energizer bunny.

I finished the 20 in a little less than 4 hours. I know I don't have the fastest pace ever, and that includes a bathroom break and pausing briefly at a few water stops to stretch and chug gatorade, but I am so psyched that I was able to run the entire thing. And that I was done with our longest training run- it starts to get easier from here until the marathon so that our bodies are fully recovered to run the whole thing.

The pain after was bad but not as bad as I thought it might be. Not any worse than any of the other long runs. I was even able to go out for a bit that night (even though the exhaustion hit me at like 11 pm and I had to go home.)

But! I haven't been able to run since then, still- and it's Wednesday now. I woke up at 5:15 yesterday with every intention of running, but my legs still hurt too much, so I did some cross training instead. I'm going to try to run during my lunch break today... it's so frustrating that my legs still feel so off.

It's probably not a secret- but I'm a bit of an exercise addict. I get stressed and exercise is my mode of stress relief. It's productive, it makes me feel better about myself, it releases endorphins. When I don't work out, I feel horrible. And I have the type of body chemistry that when I miss a workout I definitely see it on the scale the next day. I need to keep burning calories as much as possible because some days it's one of the few things that keeps me sane.

Well, anyway. That was the twenty miler. It's very possible that I may only run that distance only once more in my entire life- the day of the full marathon, June 6th. It's coming so soon. Isn't it strange how my escape from my real life also hurts me and makes me stronger at the same time?